Title: Whispers in the Dark (7/7) R
Author: Darshann (Kiss)
Spoilers: RPS, Surrender
Setting: post-RPS, pre-Surrender
Disclaimer: Women in love, who knew? Kim, Kerry, et al... not mine, but I WUV them.
Whispers in the Dark, part 7
There was a time when I thought I'd never find that special someone. A time when I'd resigned myself to a life alone. Made my peace with the Universe and given up on love.
It wasn't as bad as you might imagine. I never really let myself think about it much, it was just the way of my life. The lot I'd been given. I would make the best of it. Prove to the world that I had survived for a reason. I would make something of myself, dammit, and Damn them all to Hell for not loving me. I didn't need them.
Then I'd met Her and all of that carefully placed armor had shattered at my feet.
The bindings of an iron heart melted like so much ice-cream on a summer's day. She'd left me bare and naked, newborn into the world of feeling. It was like waking up to sight after a lifetime of blindness without warning. The colors beautiful and dazzling beyond imagination... yet too much. I wanted to fling my arms over my eyes and find a dark place to cower. Yet, I couldn't pull myself away from the shining brightness of her smile.
What magic hath she wrought upon me...? I am forever changed.
I shall never forget this, you, us, tonight.These arms, these lips, these eyes... I've tried to run, but I've found it's no use. All roads lead back to you. Back to your smile that lights the way. To the doors flung open on a brand new world. A world I'd never thought to know. How did you do this? Do you know? Can you even see?
It's been a long time since I believed in God, but today, this moment in your arms ... I do.
I will never forget, the way the candles flicker and leave their soft touch on the walls, stroking our skin with yellow light. The feel of you next to me, luxiouriously soft and warm.The way you taste, your mouth on mine. The feel of your heart beneath your breast, beating, beating, beating.
I never knew what making love meant , until now. I had no idea.
I'd always thought of flesh slapping flesh. Fluids bursting forth and pleasure. The frenzied work of skill and experience burrowing into just the right spot, finding just the right rhythm and ushering forth the most perfect orgasm. Anything less was imperfect, unworthy and not worth the time. And so I rarely... well.. So what is this we're doing? Why is this so much more?
I never want to stop. I could just hold you and kiss you for eternity and it would be enough. But then you look at me, your blue eyes endless, pouring over me. Your fingers dance across my skin without purpose, only to touch. To know me. That's the crux of it. No one else has ever... It washes over me so suddenly, but it's ok now...
The tears slide free, hot and full. Full of all those years I've wasted turning my face away. Not wanting to look into their eyes, afraid of all I'd see. All they might find. Afraid to live, really live, because I never thought. I never thought anyone would want me, love me. And here you are...
It feels so good to cry in someone's arms. Her arms. These arms. Your arms. Wrapped tight around me like nothing I'd ever hoped for, nothing I'd ever dreamed. Kisses soft against my face. Words aren't needed, not anymore. I feel the bond now. The surge of connection between us... so strong. I've never felt this with anyone. Will I feel it tomorrow? Will it always be there? Or is it just because its the first time with a woman?
Or is it just Kim?
"Come back to me, Kerry."
And I do. Looking up into the Heaven of her face. Watching the sun break through the clouds and bathe me in Her warmth. "God, you're beautiful."
"So are you." Fingers trace the edges of my face and travel down my neck while blue eyes follow the curve of my breast, my waist and hip and then return. "Beautiful."
A surge of feeling catches in my throat as I speak. "Where have you been all my life?"
Long arms wrap around my body and pull me close. Blue eyes fill my sight. Hot breath tingles across my skin as lips pass by my cheek. Teeth, tongue, and then a hot whisper against my ear. "Looking for you."
Shivers run down my spine.
I shift on the couch and she adjusts to give me more room, but I stay her movements, keeping her still. The warmth of her pressed close against me, only scraps of cloth between us.
Some of our clothes are on the floor, but we're not yet naked. Not yet. I haven't had the courage to pull off the rest, but soon... soon. It's amazing how intense this is already. Kim's still wearing her sweat shirt, though its unzipped all the way. A long lean torso and a simple green sports bra, revealed beneath. Her pants lie crumpled on the floor next to mine. My bra recently found its way onto the floor thanks to Flashdance, Kim's expert hands and a flick of the wrist.
That moment had been a mark of how far we'd come since the afternoon. Her eyes softly probing mine, waiting for permission before her fingers had slid up my back beneath my shirt. The shirt still has yet to follow, clinging to me valiantly. It hangs open, wrinkled and totally spent. The thought that I'd have nothing to wear tomorrow only barely registering as a fleeting concern. What does that matter? I've found Heaven and I never want to leave.
The TV has long ago been turned off. The flickering images of epic romance having given way to the real thing. Chinese-food cartons are carelessly scattered across the coffee table, long ago emptied. We'd eaten and talked late into the night about everything under the sun and then found each other again. Warm and safe, like coming home. How long ago it's been since words gave way to kisses, I no longer know, no longer care.
She'd been patient, letting me find the right pace as we went along. I'd started out lost and frenzied, but she'd held me softly, saying we had all the time in the world. There was no rush, no goal, no expectations. So we'd been here like this; slowly touching, kissing, cradling each other, for hours.
She didn't want just sex... Didn't want to conquer me. Even though I'd already surrendered.
She wanted ... something... something more... something less... something different. She wanted to make love to me. I'd heard the words from her lips as I had from countless other lovers... but I'd never really known. Never really understood that it wasn't just a euphemism for having sex.. Until now.
Now with Her breath on the tender place behind my ear, gentle lips brushing, kissing, long fingers tangled in my hair and soft warm skin touching everywhere.
"Yes?" She pauses halfway down the back of my neck, her breath still tickling my skin.
"Can we go upstairs?"
Her eyes come around to find me again. Searching, searching... She's afraid. Afraid I'll run again. Afraid I'm not really ready... but I am. I've never been more ready...
"Are you sure?"
Blue eyes linger a little longer and I lean in to kiss her gently. Now I'm reassuring *her*, how fitting. We part again, our foreheads resting against one another. I hear her take in a deep breath and she moves to stand, pulling me up with her. My eyes open to find her towering over me and she smiles. Her eyes burning, softly dancing with desire in a sea of love.
My knees feel weak and I sag into her, glad for once to have my disability as an excuse. Then I hear her soft laugh and I know she's seen right through me. No one else has ever really seen me as she has... Seen through the mask into the deep dark depths of me... and liked what was found. I wish she'd found me earlier... Does it matter? She's here now.
Candles are quickly extinguised and long fingers grip my own as we move upstairs, my crutch forgotten by the couch. I consider asking Kim to go back for it, but then I realize; I don't need it. Not tonight with her strong arms around me, her body against mine. Not in the bed where we're going.
I'm safe. She'll catch me if I fall.
The world fades to the few feet ahead of me as we make our way up the stairs, down the hall and into Kim's room. I'm in a daze, dizzy with emotion and arousal. My limp and the pain in my hip, fade to a dull whisper beneath the delirious yammerings of my heart. Mesmerized, I watch her hips sway softly to and fro as she moves. When they stop, I realize we have arrived and I look up to take in my new home.
Of course, as would fit with her closets, her room is one huge pit of disaster. My attention is thoroughly diverted as I take it in; crumpled kleenex and clothes strewn across the floor, bed unmade, dresser drawers open haphazardly, and books and papers everywhere... My perusal stops, abruptly interrupted by Kim's blazing visage, now filling my sight. How can a simple smile produce so much joy?
"I know what you're thinking."
I open my eyes wide, trying my best to feign innocence. Failing miserably. She laughs, still pulling me forward into the room.
"I was a little upset this afternoon," She pauses to send a pointed smirk in my direction and then pulls me onto the bed, whispering seductively, "and I certainly wasn't expecting a visitor up here any time soon."
"Just don't be surprised if you find me folding clothes in the morning."
We both stop, staring at each other. Noting the admission with wide eyed wonder. We're really doing this, its really happening."
Kim's brows arch with sudden concern. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah... just.. just a little overwhelmed. This is kind of... surreal."
Her concern breaks into a sunny grin. "You think its surreal now..." She shrugs out of her clothes and dives into me, biting my neck and nibbling down, down, down. I can't help my giggling that soon evolves into erotic groans with her determined relieving of my remaining clothes and aquisition of my breasts. She must be a breast woman... she seems to like mine.. a lot.... not that I'm complaining. I wonder what I am... hmmm. Ass woman? No. Though Kim reeeeeally has a nice one.
Still lost in my own sensations, I absently reach around to squeeze her behind, running my hands around the soft curves, slowly following the crevice around to her wetness. WOW... oh... wow... wow, wow, wow.
"If you're going to touch me there, please be kind enough to move around a little. You're killing me here."
"Sorry." I feel myself blush.
She giggles at my embarrassment and pulls me into her, reassuring me with kisses. I let her roll us over until I'm on top, looking down into her cerulean eyes. Maybe I'm an eye woman. She smiles at me. On second thought, maybe I'm a lip gal... My eyes travel down her neck to her breasts, my hands follow, feeling the softness, gently tracing the edges and tips.
Kim rumbles low in her throat, quickening my pulse. What are you doing to me?
"Come 'ere, Kerry." Her hands gently guide me closer, urging me to explore. My lips find her neck, running my tongue and the tip of my nose down its long sleek length.
Oh God, she smells good. Sweet softness, summertime and the sharp salty tang of sweat. She tastes so... mmmmm. She writhes under my lips traveling down her neck. The scent of her is intoxicating. Wow, wow wow wow. Mmmmmmm. Clavicle, Sternum, Ah Breast. Gently my lips and tongue discover the slopes, peaks and channels formed by two perfectly rounded hills, soft and pink as delicate as rose petals. Mmmmm..
Oh God look at that!... Kim arches against me, her spine curving with the elegance of God's brilliance. I lift my head to witness the muscles of her abdomen moving. The curves chiseled and shaded in sleek, clean planes. Her belly button perfectly formed, moving and stretching, pushing the air right out of my lungs. I hear the call of her navel and my tongue obeys without question.
Definately a tummy gal, oh yeah and boy does she have one ...
In response, Kim bucks under me and pushes hard into the bed beneath us, her lips parted ever so slightly. WOW wow wow wow. Teeth follow, teasing the stretch of velvet skin all along her external obliques. She shudders under me, long fingers stretch through my hair, to my neck, sliding smoothly down my back to my waist and then gently, ever so slowly raking her nails all the way back up to my hair. I go flush all the way to my core with the exquisite shock of it. Woah.
Kim's stomach shakes under me. "Oh, so you like that?" She repeats the stroke, this time with a slightly deeper pressure and a little bit of nail. I can't help but let out a gasp, jerking involuntarily. Wowwowwowowowowowow.
Kim shifts me to the bed again, rising up above me like a goddess. Soft slick planes ripple under velvet skin. Curves and gentle folds sweeping down into a valley, punctuated by twin ridges gently angling down to the valley floor. My fingers graze the promised land, searching, exploring.
All the while, long fingers trail tips across my own ridges, sliding up up my sides, around the curves of my breasts and over, around down down across my navel and deeper deeper, teasingly close and then chasing back across my belly.
Its like that feeling when you first kiss someone and your head tingles. It begins at your lips, spreading ever outward until you shudder with the hot pleasure of it all. It's so intense, you have to go still, letting it wash over you in waves upon waves. Only now, it's endless, trailing after her fingertips in golden streaks across every inch, every crevice.
Soon, I've lost any sense of time or place and I'm writhing under her touch, her kisses. My own echoing forays, stilled and forgotten. Am I coming? Oh, Gooooood, I think I already have, I am , I am again... and then her long fingers are inside me and her mouth and body are moving against mine and everything flashes to blue then green then yellow then white and I'm screaming in my head or maybe I'm really screaming, screaming her name until I'm hoarse and spent and I gasp to a stop. Panting, panting.
My eyes softly close. Kim's fingers stop and she sighs against me, softly kissing my face, rolling me to her, cushioning me against her breast.
I open my eyes to the glory of her. Smiling dumbly into the face of my new Savior. I almost missed this... Wow... I don't think I can move. Can I speak?
"I ... I... uhhhh... I..."
"Shhhhhhhhhhh." She smiles tenderly, fingers lightly tracing my eyebrows and trailing down my cheek. She dips down to me, whispering gently. "Go to sleep now, Kerry."
Drowsily, my eyes rise to hers . But what about you? I'm supposed to do you now, right? Right? "But... you. I...?"
She smiles, her eyes flicking away in happy amusement and then returning full of compassion. "I already did. It was wonderful." Her lips brush mine softly. "Now go to sleep."
She did? Wow... wish I'd seen that... Hope we can do this again.. yawn... mmmm... soooo sleepy. "Mmmmm...kay." My eyes flutter closed again.
I feel Kim shift away as she pulls the sheet over the both of us and then as she presses across me to turn out the light. She returns, snuggling back down next to me. Darkness settling over us, softly filling the room with a peaceful stillness.
The beating of my heart slows and my breath lengthens, lethargy seeping into each limb. Kim exhales slowly, relaxing into me, her own heart slowing beneath her breast. Drifting, and I'm inches from sleep now, only barely hearing Kim whisper, "Night, Kerry."
I sink into her arms, into the darkness, arms securely cradling me, holding me. Peaceful now, whole and content for maybe the first time. The First Time. Sleep beckons, wrapping its fluffy edges around me and tucking me into the safety of Kim. A sense of rightness overwhelms the fuzzy questions, gentle nothingness descends and only one thought still whispers softly through the darkness...
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