Spoilers: up to and including Existence
Summary: post Existence
Disclaimer: no infringement intended... though really, no names are mentioned.
I watch them quietly, trying not to squirm in his arms. They had told me they were special, but warned me to keep watch. This is a fragile moment and I don't want to break it, no matter what. No matter that I need changing or that my tummy is rumbling again. It doesn't matter. Watching them like this is the best welcome I could ask for... so tender and loving. I sensed as he entered that she was as unsure as he was. Unsure of the future and of each other. Then she'd handed me to him and he'd looked at me.
I wanted to tell him. I wanted to let him know that it would all work out. We can be happy, the three of us... if you'll just tell her. But he'd shushed me, not hearing the words through my gurgling. Just as well, for he figured it out in his own way. I suppose it was my tiny hands so like his and my eyes so like hers, 'cause when he looked at her again, taking in the look on her face, the question was gone. He knew. She knew. There were only words left to say, kisses left to give.
So I'd quieted, content with the warmth spreading through my tiny body from his hands. Content with the words pouring over me, calling me a miracle. If they only knew. Then the question, the moment of fear on her face and his heart is beating so hard against my side. I want to cry for them and all the miles they've come, but I stay silent. Waiting for what I know comes next. The admission, the Truth that they have revered and feared all this time.
He leans over me, gently trying not to crush me as he moves closer to her. A moment as he silently requests access and then she moves to meet him. I feel the tremor stretch between, the mountains of anxiety falling to the floor. The tearful joy spiraling up through the three of us... the promise of a future. My mother's breasts press against me gently, her instinct not to smother her son warring with her desire to be close to my father, her lover.
I wish I was old enough to excuse myself, let them be alone. For as much as I want to feel them near me, I know they need this time. Time to love each other and affirm this mutual journey they have so long tried to travel alone. A night to float in the fairy-tale moment and drink it all in before the world crashes in around them again.
I wish I didn't need changing so bad... but I do... and I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy, but I just can't wait any longer. They break apart gently and twin smiles peer down at me. Daddy tries to quiet me again, lulling me for a moment with his voice, but it only lasts for a second. Then Mommy's forehead crinkles and she reaches for me, guessing the problem.
Daddy follows us over to the table, standing close behind her as she changes me. His arms encircling her waist, his head resting on her shoulder watching and then kissing her cheek, her neck. I feel her hands trembling. So much emotion. How did she hold on to this so long?
Finally, I'm clothed again and she's holding me to her chest, my head gently lolling in one hand against her shoulder. They're kissing again. He's turned her to him, and I'm encased in their warmth all over again. Only this time I'm not so much in the way.
I suppose I can forgo a feeding for an hour or so... This is nice actually. It's comforting, their rhythmic breathing, and the heat rising off of them makes me feel like I'm still in her womb. Though I wouldn't want to go back to that time. She was so sad, when he was gone. I hope she never has to feel that again. If I have anything to do with it, she never will.
Mmmm, maybe a nap would be a good thing. It has been a pretty exhausting first day and that will give them time alone... at least a little while. I wiggle in her arms until they're looking at me again. I'm pleased to see they aren't annoyed at the interruption, instead they look delighted. I yawn to punctuate the moment and my lids start drooping along with the rest of me.
I wish I could somehow stay awake to watch them some more, but soon she places me into my tiny bed next to their large one. She tucks me in under the soft blanket and they both kiss the back of my head as I drift off. The last thing I'm aware of before I fall asleep is my parents sinking into their bed in each other's arms, murmuring words so long left unsaid. I smile to myself... for my work has just begun.
The End and The Beginning.....
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